What we think...
Thanks to Helen Love at Intuitive Brands for this little gem. As I pursue my quest to de-jargonise business communications, please feel free to have a go…
“A research team proceeded towards the apex of a natural geological protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified. One member of the team precipitately descended sustaining severe fractural damage to the upper cranial portion of his anatomical structure. Subsequently, the second member of the team performed a self-rotational translation oriented in the direction taken by the first team member.”
Now, answer the following questions:
How many people in the team?
What were their names?
stephanie
November 24, 2009
1:59 pm
great – such a good way to show how business speak can muddle stuff up!
I’ve a feeling I’m going to be using this soon…
The Galley
November 24, 2009
5:23 pm
This is going to sound stupid…
So, what are the answers?
Or are there any?
Alison Esse
November 24, 2009
5:56 pm
Not stupid at all. There are answers to both questions – I’ll post them in a couple of days just in case I spoil anyone’s fun!
The Galley
November 25, 2009
3:07 am
Can hardly wait.
nice post!
Alison Esse
November 26, 2009
4:01 pm
OK, the answer is….
Two people in the team, and their names are Jack and Jill.
meli
November 26, 2009
4:04 pm
Two people and their names are Jack and Jill I reckon.
Had to read it twice tho and am a mum.
meli
November 26, 2009
4:05 pm
Grr just posted too late, but I did get it.. honest!
Alison Esse
November 26, 2009
4:11 pm
Congratulations!
The Galley
November 29, 2009
12:30 am
Hmmm…
So how were these answers obtained?
Vijay Menon
December 2, 2009
10:45 am
C’mon, no one writes like this. Surely this an invented piece of turgid prose to make the case for simple writing through an exaggerated example?
Alison Esse
December 2, 2009
11:07 am
You are absolutely right – it was created for that very reason. I’ve seen some horrendous examples of writing with far too much jargon and corporate-speak which is a real turn-off. Just making the point that simple writing is far more engaging! Thanks for your comment.
TG
December 2, 2009
3:29 pm
Yes, simple writing is far more engaging. Still, how were those answers gotten? Random? Might use this post in my blog sometime.
Nice one!
Alison Esse
December 3, 2009
4:23 pm
OK, for those unfamiliar with certain popular children’s rhymes in the UK, here it is:
‘Jack and Jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down
and broke his crown
and Jill came tumbling after….’
TG
December 4, 2009
3:43 pm
Aaah, makes sense now!
Very cool, may borrow this someday.